mindset

Creating a Safe Space for Clients

When I polled my audience on Instagram, 82% identified as being in a healing/helping profession (nurse, doctor, social worker, teacher, trainer, therapist, coach, parent). I myself have been in nursing for 11 years, first in cancer care and now in women’s health. I get the importance of maintaining healthy boundaries, having good communication skills and conveying compassion.

I think I create a comfortable environment in my office; I often have people surprised about what they tell me because they hadn’t anticipated that coming up. I think this is the greatest sign that clients feel that I am present with them, open to hearing their story and ready to find solutions where I can. I thought today, I would share some tips for my fellow healers on how to create a comforting, compassionate space for your clients. …

My Secrets to Marital Longevity

Most Marriages Fail. The first three words the priest uttered during his sermon at my wedding ceremony (9 years ago this week!). The sermon included other words but I don’t remember them because I got so stuck on the first three. I was thinking: Why is the priest, the guy who is about to unite M and I for life, talking about divorce? I mean this is the day I’m supposed to feel that my relationship is invincible. Rainbows, unicorns and heart shaped cheesecakes are floating around in my head as I think about the happiness we’re going to cultivate all the days of our lives….

What are you really mad about?

What are you angry about today? What’s got you pissy? What’s really irritating your right now?

Did someone just cut you off in traffic? Did your boss give you a criticism you felt was unfair? Are you in the midst of a conflict with someone you love?

Anger is a fascinating emotion. It springs up quickly and often out of nowhere, blindsiding us with rage and frustration.

It’s a very telling emotion as well. Anger is the security blanket we often use to cover up our true hurts and fears—fear of loss, worry about the future, fear of a dissolving connection with someone.

So, let’s dig into anger today. Just a little. It’s not easy work because, as women, we are so often socialized to suppress our anger. We are taught that it’s dangerous and damaging to confront our rage.

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One Week Vacation or Everyday Indulgence?

The other day, I was chatting with some co-workers at lunch and we were catching up about our summer vacations. I was the only one in the group who didn’t like to go to all inclusive resorts or on cruises. To be honest, I question the practices at most resorts in terms of labour relations, environmental impact and food supply (I’ve written more about this here). I would rather support a smaller tourism company or even a family renting their home. And let’s get real, I may be a tourist myself but I don’t wanna hang around any other tourists. I want to blend in, meet locals and observe the culture as it unfolds before me. I want to go to markets, I want to watch families at coffee shops, I want to picnic and hike.

This was met with some shock:

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Let’s do a boundary check in shall we?

My day job as a Nurse Practitioner means that I spend my days supporting women in their physical and mental health. I bear witness to stories of great suffering and even greater resilience. It is work that I am passionate about. It is extremely rewarding and urgent work.

It is also extremely tiring. I am coming off of a year of learning how to be a mother which is also very tiring work. It’s easy as a helper, healer and mama to get lost. To completely pour yourself into your work and/or your family. I used to think that pouring of myself was selflessness. I thought it was virtuous.

You know what it really is? Unsustainable. …

3 Ways to Stop People Pleasing

As a recovering people pleaser, super-friend and do-it-all mama, I love helping other women disconnect from the everyday hustle and connect more deeply with themselves.

Are you constantly over-scheduling yourself and then feeling exhausted afterward?

Do your friends and family call you and expect you to drop your plans and listen/help them?

Do you often do things out of guilt only to later resent the person you did it for?

If so, I get it—navigating all of this has been such a huge part of my journey. In order to help you break free from exhaustion, guilt and resentment, I compiled a few mindset shifts that have helped me immensely:

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The 5 Reasons I Practice Yoga

I have been practicing yoga on and off for 15 years. It’s a form of movement that I always come back to because it is a movement practice that totally prioritizes the mind-body connection. Have you been thinking of starting a yoga practice but are not sure what all the hype is about? Are you afraid that it’s not for you? Let me tell you, it is.

Here are the five reasons I do yoga every week:…

What would happen if we talked about our periods?

I remember the first time I got my period—July 23,1996. It had some seriously unfortunate timing because it was summer vacation and I was supposed to go out to a community swimming pool that day. I wasn’t sure how I would get out of the swimming without actually talking about my situation; and I knew your period wasn’t something that people talked about. I mean, I was pretty sure it wasn’t. I had never heard my mom talk about it. I was the first girl in my group to have gotten my period, so my friends had never talked about it. I had a brother so he definitely wasn’t talking about it….

Is feeling irritated about everything just your normal?

If it is, you’re not alone. I used to consider myself such an easily irritated person. Then I read this book:

THE DANCE OF ANGER: A WOMAN’S GUIDE TO CHANGING THE PATTERNS OF INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS:

This book is a powerhouse. A powerhouse of practical advice and real-life situations that will have you nodding along in understanding.…

A Note About Guilt

Guilt has been an emotion I’ve struggled with a lot, for a very long time.

I thought it was a virtuous thing—“ I feel bad that I’m not doing the thing that person wants me to do. I should be a better/bigger person and act how they want me to.”

Damn, did I have it allllllll wrong….

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