Why we all need Reparenting and how to start

August 2, 2021 By Marilene Caetano Leave a Comment

TEST TEST When I gave birth to Gabriela four and a half years ago, I was plummeted into the greatest path of self-discovery I ever could have imagined. In many ways, all the things I did for and with Gabriela in the name of parenting, I ended up trying on myself first.

I realized that to nurture Gabriela, I had to learn to nurture myself.

I realized that to be kind to Gabriela, I had to get good at being kind to myself.

I realized that to teach Gabriela about values and integrity, I had to connect with my own values and let them lead.

As I began to parent this being that existed outside my body in the real world, I was also being asked to connect to the child that still lived energetically inside of me—something we call reparenting. …

We are not our child’s healer

April 20, 2021 By Marilene Caetano Leave a Comment

My experience working with clients in my nursing practice for the last 14 years, is that people are fervently seeking healing. People want to feel more energetic, have less pain, worry less and have greater inner peace. Out of this burning need for health, people seek a cure from their healthcare providers. They want the right diagnosis, the right pill, the right quick-fix.

And I have to admit that I have a lot of my career being very invested in matching this burning need to be fixed by urgently trying to “fix” others. There was a time when I was much to invested in my identity as a healer, both to the detriment of my energy and the detriment of my client’s sovereignty.

This happens for a lot of highly sensitive folks. With our innate gifts of empathy and compassion possibly combined with upbringings of emotional caretaking of other adults, it can be a natural choice to desire to be the fixer and the rescuer.

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Am I sensitive and passionate or just being reactive?

April 14, 2021 By Marilene Caetano Leave a Comment

I have always considered myself to be a very passionate person. I feel deeply. I get enthusiastic quickly. I cry easily. I always chocked it up to being Portuguese and being raised in a household where you spoke loudly. Later, as I learned about the science of high sensitivity, I realized that my passion was because my nervous system literally took in more information and processed it more deeply than the average person.

And, over time, as I’ve matured, I also realized that what I was lumping together as my passionate qualities were actually reactivity.

Dr. Shefali Tsabury, in her book the Awakened Family, speaks about how there is a difference between reacting and responding. We may not have learned what this difference was as children, so we assume that not reacting means we are being passive or inauthentic. This is because we may have failed to learn, as children and adolescents, how to speak our truth without becoming defensive about it.

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What is High Sensitivity?

February 24, 2019 By Marilene Caetano Leave a Comment

You’ve heard me talk a lot about high sensitivity around here especially as it pertains to parenting. I am a highly sensitive person (HSP) and so is Gab.

But what am I even talking about? Here’s a primer on the main characteristics of HSPs. There will be much more coming in my writing about this trait so definitely stay tuned.

High sensitivity refers to an innate capacity in some people for being highly aware of and attuned to their surroundings. It is a personality trait (like introversion/extroversion). …

Creating a Safe Space for Clients

November 14, 2018 By Marilene Caetano Leave a Comment

When I polled my audience on Instagram, 82% identified as being in a healing/helping profession (nurse, doctor, social worker, teacher, trainer, therapist, coach, parent). I myself have been in nursing for 11 years, first in cancer care and now in women’s health. I get the importance of maintaining healthy boundaries, having good communication skills and conveying compassion.

I think I create a comfortable environment in my office; I often have people surprised about what they tell me because they hadn’t anticipated that coming up. I think this is the greatest sign that clients feel that I am present with them, open to hearing their story and ready to find solutions where I can. I thought today, I would share some tips for my fellow healers on how to create a comforting, compassionate space for your clients. …

My Secrets to Marital Longevity

September 13, 2018 By Marilene Caetano Leave a Comment

Most Marriages Fail. The first three words the priest uttered during his sermon at my wedding ceremony (9 years ago this week!). The sermon included other words but I don’t remember them because I got so stuck on the first three. I was thinking: Why is the priest, the guy who is about to unite M and I for life, talking about divorce? I mean this is the day I’m supposed to feel that my relationship is invincible. Rainbows, unicorns and heart shaped cheesecakes are floating around in my head as I think about the happiness we’re going to cultivate all the days of our lives….

What are you really mad about?

September 7, 2018 By Marilene Caetano Leave a Comment

What are you angry about today? What’s got you pissy? What’s really irritating your right now?

Did someone just cut you off in traffic? Did your boss give you a criticism you felt was unfair? Are you in the midst of a conflict with someone you love?

Anger is a fascinating emotion. It springs up quickly and often out of nowhere, blindsiding us with rage and frustration.

It’s a very telling emotion as well. Anger is the security blanket we often use to cover up our true hurts and fears—fear of loss, worry about the future, fear of a dissolving connection with someone.

So, let’s dig into anger today. Just a little. It’s not easy work because, as women, we are so often socialized to suppress our anger. We are taught that it’s dangerous and damaging to confront our rage.

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One Week Vacation or Everyday Indulgence?

August 29, 2018 By Marilene Caetano Leave a Comment

The other day, I was chatting with some co-workers at lunch and we were catching up about our summer vacations. I was the only one in the group who didn’t like to go to all inclusive resorts or on cruises. To be honest, I question the practices at most resorts in terms of labour relations, environmental impact and food supply (I’ve written more about this here). I would rather support a smaller tourism company or even a family renting their home. And let’s get real, I may be a tourist myself but I don’t wanna hang around any other tourists. I want to blend in, meet locals and observe the culture as it unfolds before me. I want to go to markets, I want to watch families at coffee shops, I want to picnic and hike.

This was met with some shock:

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